Baby Gift

Within this blog you will see references to baby gifts for our soon to be born boy or girl. This is not a letter asking for your gifts or money, on the contrary, this is an appeal to my friends, family, and all Americans to give my wife and child a warmhearted welcome and acceptance into your life, albeit from a great distance. It’s this great distance not only in spatial terms, but culturally as well, that has alienated my family from all of you, and I am mostly to blame for not bridging that gap prior to the weddings. Therefore, I will provide you with many avenues with which I sincerely hope you will use to express to my wife and unborn the kindest American hospitality the world over knows of so well.

The link to our contact information is located at the top of this website. There you will find our email address, phone numbers, and address should you want to write, call, or send gifts. Also, I have created a baby registry with Amazon located here, http://www.amazon.com/gp/registry/baby/1OQVYTPSGW62K. After many painstaking hours on Amazon, I was able to find items that can be shipped to China. Ironically, most of the items that could not be shipped to China were made in China. Again, I’m not asking for gifts, per se, but more so to convey to my wife and child your love and acceptance.

My wife, Jiajia, is expecting with a due of January 13^th (Friday). I had no idea a pregnant woman’s belly is able to expand to the dimensions she is at, as you can see by this image.
We have yet to learn the sex of the child due to the complications of the one-child-per-family policy. In fact, it’s illegal for doctors to divulge this information, even to foreigners. Reason being, a male child will carry on the family name and is more likely to earn more money, which means a better retirement for the parents. With the introduction of ultrasound in the 1980s, many families had aborted their child once the sex was discovered to be female. This has caused an imbalanced ratio of 122:100 boys to girls. By my rough calculations, that translates to nearly 100 million men who will have no chance to marry. As a result, access to ultrasound has become a national security threat in China, requiring two unique keys to access the ultrasound rooms with two or more doctors in attendance while the machines are in use, to reduce the chance of bribery.

I’m slowly discovering the father’s role in China. Pay the bills. In the Chinese hospitals, men are not allowed to be with the wife while visiting the doctor. There is a bold line on the floor with signs above it and to the left and right that read “No Men Beyond This Point!” We must have faith that our wives are relaying the correct information, taking the prescribed treatment, and following all the  pediatrician  instructions. The hospitals take no appointments, they operate on a number system. The doors open at 7am and people stand in line to receive a number to see the doctor. People begin forming lines around 5am and if I’m not there by 8am I won’t get a number. My job has been to get a number, pay the doctor fees, and purchase the prescribed medicine. In the meantime I wait with all the other husbands near the “No Men Allowed” signs. A little FYI – the hospitals are crammed pack and the doctors are working overtime in Beijing. In the past 10 years the population has doubled from 10 million to 20 million, but no new hospitals have been built causing stress for all the hospitals and patients. I really don’t like going to the hospital. After giving birth the child and mother should spend one or two months living at the  mother’s family and one or two months living at the father’s family. It was decided, without my knowledge, that my wife and child would life at my mother-in-laws home for four months and I could visit on occasion if I felt the need. My opposition was countered with a compromise, we get a nanny. So the plan is to have a nanny six hours each day, six days each week, for three months to help with the baby chores, laundry, cooking, and cleaning. I think it’s a waste of money, but it beats the alternative.

Following are many questions that have been asked along with a short response:

1. What will the baby’s nationality be?

• The baby will be Chinese then we might apply for U.S. citizenship in the future, but for now, because we intend to raise the child in China, so the baby will remain Chinese. China does not allow dual citizenship, so it’s one or the other. Once a person renounces his or her Chinese citizenship, it’s virtually impossible to regain it in the future. Therefore, we will thoroughly deliberate before making any decisions.

1. Can I have and will I have more than one child?

• I’m American, I can have as many children as I want, Jiajia is an only child which means we can have two Chinese children. If we want more than two then the others must be American.

1. Will I change my nationality?

• No. I will not renounce my American citizenship.

1. Will Jiajia become a U.S. citizen?

• She has expressed no interest in leaving China, but is willing to move the U.S. if it is the logical course of action.

1. What will the baby’s name be?

• Jiajia is picking the Chinese name and I am choosing the English name. You’ll find out the names once the baby is born. I’m leaning towards Raymond for a boy, but still undecided.

The next blog will answer any other questions you may have, as well as introduce you to our home (renting a “$400,000″ 1 bedroom apartment for $800 per month, can you say bubble?) and I’ll share with you the work that has been occupying my time for the past few months. After that blog, I’ll introduce our new child. Until then, here are some photos from the 4^th wedding in Beijing with friends and Jiajia’s father’s family from Yunnan in Southern China. One final plea, call my wife, email my wife, or send her a gift (wedding or baby gift) to let her know I really do have friends and family in the U.S.A. who care.

Beijing Wedding #4, Table of Friends